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![]() ![]() Meaning that we should strive to be separate, independent people. Yes! But to do that we must avoid having too much intimacy with our partners Knowing this, can we have our proverbial cake and eat it, too? 2. You can’t choose one over the other the system needs both to survive.” ![]() They express dynamics that are part of the very nature of reality…. These tensions exist in individuals, in couples, and in large organizations. ![]() “We find the same polarities in every system: stability and change, passion and reason, personal interest and collective well-being, action and reflection (to name but a few). ![]() We crave both the stability and familiarity of a long-term relationship AND we also crave novelty, thrill, and excitement. Perel is a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience with couples, particularly that of the much-maligned sexless marriage.Īs someone who has been told repeatedly about the dreaded “lesbian bed death” that befalls lady-lovin’ ladies, it was refreshing to be like, SEE? WE ALL HAVE BED DEATH.Īside from this vindication, here are 10 other useful and interesting tidbits I gleaned from Perel’s book. (If you want a Cliff’s Notes version of the book, watch the talk below). I picked up Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity after watching her poignant TED talk about how to sustain desire in long-term relationships. ![]()
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